Prelude:

Not without searching -- not without searching and the accompanied discretion did I find and acquire the adequate quill with with to write this, but prior to the finding/searching process and the desire to search at all came the preconceived notion of what I should have. And now I am not even using that quill... I found another, better one after I ceased my search when I thought the first to be the best available to me. The X on the map of the mind is not the final destination; the heart searches deeper to unearth the treasure buried thereunder. (only when we quit our search, and dig deeper where we stand do we find what we truly desire).

This parchment was to be exclusively for my thoughts, traveloging, and observations on my journey, but for one, I hardly keep my original plans pristine, and for two, I’m a soup so cannot separate and isolate one piece of my life or else it would be unidentifiable with the others. I did not set my bearings on Belize (or anywhere else, for that matter,) and neither did I choose this fate when I saw the waves would take me to this land, but I did have a preconceived images of my destination, however vague and indefinite. I applied my searching of the place only after it became evident my ship would wreck and the decision had been cast for me. My discernment was therefore relatively free forming, and more loose so as to leave room for my ideal, whatever the size. My Optimist & Pessimist Act was only so affective as I permitted it to be. The more I scanned the approaching shore, the more I found myself making it warmly familiar to me, and it almost seemed I was returning home after a long wind’s journey; my own will tugging at the hull rather than the pull of the powerful tide. True, there were still many strange and unfamiliar wiles of that land, for it had changed immensely from when I harboured it safely within my ideal, but now it beckoning me to set my foot on its sands, test and taste and explore its reality. Such identification (that of self with external entity) can be tricky -- whether tendril or finger first extended -- but I find that I have preferred the way I have approached this place, or rather, the seas have taken me to this land, which is to say I find it truer to myself.